Reflections

     This time a year ago, I was the length of the country away from my home and family, I was celebrating the wedding of a dear friend, but I was also taking some away from my life, my family and my marriage. I was taking an opportunity to examine myself and my life without the everyday pressures of home, to decide what it was I wanted and needed.

      Those precious few days helped me to forget for a moment, the struggles j was experiencing, the personal, the emotional, the physical. It had been such a long time since I had no one else to worry about, no children to feed, organize and taxi around, no house to keep under control, no husband driving me insane. It was rather liberating in a way, I felt a little giddy with the freedom of only worrying about getting myself home at the end of a night out.

      The space also helped me to focus on the bigger picture, to look at the main problems without the interference of tiny little issues that blurred things. It's amazing how watching the most amazing sunsets can give you a bit of clarity.

      In many ways a couple of days spent far from my family, saved my family, by gaining distance, my focus changed to the things that mattered the most, I was able to see a way forward. I could see a resolution that involved healing instead of heartbreak. 

      For the first time in a long time as I watched a gorgeous couple vow to love one another for the rest of their lives, I felt the love I had shared with my husband, I missed him and I wanted to be with him. I was finally starting to see forever again.

      It still wasn't smooth sailing from that point, but it was a start, our marriage is still a work in progress, but I'm happy to still be working at it, I'm feelin stronger all the time and feeling more alive every day. I believe that a successful marriage isn't perfect, but it contains to people willing to keep working towards perfect, even if they never reach it!!