Expectations

      Isnt it funny how we build things up in our heads? Often we place high expectations on things, only to be left feeling let down. Are we justified in feeling  let down or have we put unjust expectations onto the situation?

      This weekend just gone was one of these such occurrences, hubby was due home on Friday night, I knew he would be late, so we were picking him up from his ship. After the wonderful weekend we had had a week before, plus the euphoric feelings I had experienced all week, I had very high expectations of what our weekend would be like. Unfortunately my husband had no idea of this.

      From the moment we picked him up it was obvious things were not going to go as they had in my head. Hubby had been through a couple of very rough days work wise, so he was tired and very cranky. As I came to understand how bad his week had been, I felt my hopes crumble to dust.

      None of this was my husbands fault, intellectually I knew this, but old habits die hard, I retreated into myself, feeling neglected and let down. We had such a high a week before and now we were hitting a big low, although that low was intensified by the expectations that I had placed on the situation. I was disappointed in my husband and feeling like I didn't matter. Maybe if I had let my husband know what I was feeling, things may have turned out differently.

      So now I have a week of wondering what if, plus I'm rehashing my behavior and reactions to my expectations. The one good thing to come from the last week has been the realization I can now recognize these behaviors and reaction, helping myself to fix them, so that means the months of therapy were not wasted!!