It is said that the only person who can make us truly happy is ourselves, which seems fair, but is our happiness affected by those around us and their actions. Or is it how we perceive those actions that affects us the most? Is there a difference in reacting or responding?
Lately I've been looking at the way those around me affect me, in doing this I'm coming to realize, its not them affecting me, its my reactions to them, as humans we possess an enormous amount of empathy, we try to help others as much as we can. But in doing this we need to find a healthy balance between helping others and helping ourselves, by taking on other peoples problems and dramas we neglect ourselves. when we neglect ourselves we lose the ability to pick between reaction or response.
To me the difference is how we feel, when you react to someones situation, you become part of it, you take some of it on, you experience deep emotions such as anger, it can affect how you feel, it can also wear you out to the point where it becomes to much. When you respond, you listen without the deep emotions, you can acknowledge the problem without become a part of the situation, this is the problem I'm having, being able to respond without the reaction, I have enough to sort through at the moment without taking on the issues and problems of others.
When someone is experiencing hard times we jump in to try to help, we listen, we assist in any way we can, often we take their problems on board, I know I do, but in doing that it adds to whatever we are also experiencing in our own lives. This can cause us to feel overwhelmed and strung out. i need to figure out the balance between helping my friends and taking on too much of their crap. Its time for me, I need to be able to back away quietly without causing offence and focus on making me whole, a job that is getting easier by the day.
For now, I'm picking and choosing what social situations I put myself in, my well-being is my highest priority, if that loses me a few friends well so be it, but I need to make me whole again, Its my time!!!!!
