The last couple of days have been good, I'm feeling stronger within myself every day, the clouds are parting and the way forward is getting so much clearer.
I started back at PT yesterday, plus I restarted my squat, push-up & sit-up challenges, yes this is me easing back into it lol. My goodness the pain in my legs & butt today, but it's a good pain, it reminds me of where I'm heading, in saying that, I'm not eagerly looking forward to tomorrow's session, but I know once I start I'll feel better. I had almost forgotten how a good exercise session makes you feel, the glow of knowing you pushed yourself and did the best you could.
Tonight I signed up for a weight loss & fitness program, I know I've started on the right path, but I need just a little bit of help and guidance, I'm not ashamed to admit it, I have been it the past but no more. I need to do this for me and I'll take any help that I can get, I'm looking forward to this next phase.
Today I decided if I was going to have a fresh start, then I needed a change, they say change is as good as a holiday, so I put myself in the hands of my hairdresser and said do whatever you want, it was one of the best decisions I've made in a long time, I feel refreshed, reborn almost, my husband loves my new look and I'm feeling a little more confident. One step at a time, my confidence is growing a little bit each day, just like a new seedling, still delicate and vulnerable, but growing in strength.
I know it not all going to be sunshine and roses, however if I can keep myself positive, then my confidence should continue to bloom, that's the plan anyway!!!
Have you ever just woken up and everything feels different? Like the world has moved on it's axis, that was me this morning, in an amazingly good way. I woke up feeling lighter, brighter, renewed in ways I can't really put my finger on, but I'm not going to question it, I feel good, no strike that I feel amazing today.
Change is in the air, it's the first day of spring and all around me things feel different, change is on it's way and it finally feels like a change for the better.
It was helped in some part by a post I read on Facebook this morning, it was the second post on my newsfeed when I checked fb as I enjoyed my morning green tea. It was one of those posts that hits you right in the guts, it just resonated so much with me, it's like the poster was looking into my soul and voicing thoughts I hadn't been able to. It's relevance to me was incredible, I've been thinking for ages about getting a new tattoo and had finally decided on a design, the Phoenix!
It came to me a while ago that as a symbol it was perfect for my situation, to have gone to hell and back, experienced the worst lie could throw at me, but it have survived, I'm rising again from the ashes of my old life, renewing myself, transforming into a new better version of the woman I was. Despite the pain and the heartache only the way, it will be worth it.
This is the post that moved me so much, hopefully it will resonate with you as well.....
Onwards and upwards is the only way forward, I will rise again, I will feel whole again!!!!!
