Crossroads.....

      How is it, that you can be travelling along nicely in your life, seeming to have it all mapped out, working towards a goal, when BAM life throws you a curve ball, breast cancer. The focus changes, treatment, survival, taking it one day at a time. Then treatment is done, the day you walk out from that last treatment is so overwhelming, where to from here, the daily focus has vanished, replaced by what????   It's time to get back to your life, but what life is that???

       It's amazing how your outlook on life can be changed by an earth shattering experience, things that had once seemed so important no longer are, the day to day stress you used to endure, the putting off of dreams, chasing what society deems important. Life is way to short to put off your dreams, neglect your family and friends or stay in a stressful job. The problem you now face is what choice is right, should you return to what you have always done or do you take the risk and try something new. Uncharted waters can be both terrifying and exhilarating, they can give you a new purpose, something to help you move on to the next stage in your life.

      For me I tried returning to work, just a couple of days a week, a few hours a day, instead of making me feel like I was returning to normal, being back at work actually made me feel more useless, I got tired so quickly, I couldn't remember part numbers or simple prices, things I had always been able to reel off eluded my chemo fogged brain. I was frustrated and annoyed, I had been very good at my job, now it was like I was back to square one, 10 yrs of hard work gone, maybe it was time for a change, for if I kept trying to do this, I feared I would end up feeling much worse than I already did, could you drop further than rock bottom??

       So where to from there, I was still employed casually, but I decided to take the leap into the unknown, it was time to try my hand at running my own small business from home. Months of research and testing, feeling fear and exhilaration, finally I was ready to start selling my products. My business has had it's ups & downs, but is starting to grow nicely, I love what I'm doing, plus the enjoyment my products bring to my customers, hopefully I can keep it growing and keep feeling useful. Only time will tell if I made the right decision, but for the moment, I'm fairly content with my work situation.