Self Sabotage....we all do it!!!

      Things were going along nicely, I was feeling better, I was making progress, I was doing something to help myself, fuck I was actually liking myself, then boom I wake up today and its gone, FFS how can a lousy 6 hours sleeping undo the bloody hard work of the last 2 weeks, my mind is so screwed up that it messed me up again and people wonder why I drink.

      After hitting the lows I had hit lately, I made a conscious decision to pull myself up and get the hell on with it, no point wallowing in my own pity party, they are only fun for so long. Besides it was time to listen to my own rants, nothing changes while you whinge about it. We all know someone who constantly complains but never wants to try any suggestions given to them, because if they fix their problems what will they have to complain bout. 

      So if I am to be a worthwhile member of society, then I need to able to give those around me something of value, I need to top dragging myself and others down, because eventually, I'll end up so far down no one will ever see me. Jesus I need to stop reading inspirational quotes at stupid o'clock in the morning, I'm starting to sound like a twat. But on the other hand sounding like a twat is better than stealing the happy from everyone around me.

     But I've gone off on a tangent, so typical of me, the mind wanders to avoid the truth, get back on track stupid lmao.

    So step 1, I've acknowledged I'm being a big fat sook, looking for a pity party, for everyone else to fix me.

Step 2, Join up to a weight loss/fitness challenge to get a body I prefer to the one I'm living in right now, do it with others to make me accountable.

Step 3, Get my work/life balance sorted, so I'm not so bloody tired all the time.

      OK, the week started well, did my workouts, ate good foods, sorted a schedule, three days in, it all goes to shit, extreme period pain every time I move, craving for carbs and chocolate, the urge to sleep all day, hidden under a blanket. Adulting is to hard, I'm over being responsible, thinking for everyone else, remembering all their shit, making sure they are taken care of.

     WHAT ABOUT ME??????????????