Should you always keep trying no matter what?? Or is getting rebuffed and ignored for a major space in time a good enough reason to stop trying? If only one person is trying can anything ever turn out well? Do we even want to try anymore??
These are all the questions that flow through an exhausted mind when sleep is hiding. Are they questions that should be shelved for a time when a lucid, rested mind can ponder them more thoroughly?
Then of course come the reasonings and excuses, why would he want or desire you? You hate yourself, you are unworthy, you are useless and worthless.
How is he supposed to know what you are feeling if you don't tell him, well maybe if he was open to having a conversation I could, but he is shut off, hiding from me and I don't have what it takes to break through. Maybe I never will, but I'm too gutless to break free and walk away, so I deserve every bit of misery I receive.
Stop bloody thinking, time for sleep, that's if the arsehole neighbors will finally shut up. Night all and ask yourself if you are not trying anymore, is it worth it!!!
